so when you say 'a spouse 'you have touched,and there is a certain level of memory.now 2 people who have shared their emotion ,their body their sensations,and their living spaces ,because 2 memories have merged in many ways,ripping it apart is almosat like tearing your self apart.and thats not going to be easy,for various reasons.but at the same time the vert fact that youre going through your divorse means,you want to be finished with that memory in some way.maybe not erase that memory ,but someone who was a spouse,someone who was in many ways ,a part of your life,slowly , for whatever reason ,you have begun to experice them as baggage that you are unwilling to carry.so ,you want to keep the baggage aside .but you find the baggage is not something that you voluntraily carry,its something that compulsively sticks to you.so when whatever sticks to you compulsively,if you try to rip it off, there will be pain.even though you might have begun to almost cone to a place where you cant stand the person anymore,still it hurts,simply because you are trying to rip out a memory which is you.because you are a bundle of memory.memory has bulit up about your spouse you cant just get rid of it just like that.if you do it even mentally, psychologically , if you re equipped to do it-you will still see the whole system will go through a certain level of suffering invariably.even if emotionally ,psychologically ,you re in balamced state that you can deal with it,the system will go through a certain process.when especially when you are taken away from your spouse,either through divorse or death,you will see the memory within your system plays up much more strongly when theyare not here. particularly when death happens ,you will see,the memory of your spouse works in every cell in your body.if you have lived long enough together. its not just an emotional and psychological process , it is a very physical process .so divorse is voluntary death,you have decided to kill somethiong that is part of you ,in some way.its because of this reason that having this understanding of the existence,and the way the system functions,that they always told you ," till death do you part' you will not part, becuase there is a physical memory about this,and the body it doesnt have the balance of the mind. the mind can decide and turn around but the body cannot turn around;the more memory you bulid into it,the more confused it becomes .so one type of memory , body handles it much better,now that you ve chosen to divorse ,for whatever reasons which i dont want to delve into,if it could be avoid ,thatr would be best.but for some situations where thius has to happen ,you need to understand ,that essentially means,you have chosen to kill something which is a part of you .becuase what you call as "myself"is just a certain volume of memory .now how to conduct this gracefully?
most people think the best way to conduct a divorse is,immediately jump into another relationship,and another relationship of the same kind .no,you will cause much more straggle and turmoil within the system by doing that.
its erxtremely important the body has enough time to work out the memory,the body has enough time keep the memory at certain distance ,otherwise you will render yourself to a space whereto make yourself peaceful and jouful will become and extremely hard thing to do in your life.so , conducting this process gracefully and well is important,as it is important to conduct every aspect of your life gracefully and well.
your only divorcing your spouse,you need not divorse yourself.but you need to understand this,you have already divorced yourself,youre quite divorced from your own self.your existence has been nurtured by making bond ,a partnership or a bondage -depending upon how you conducted this-to make yourself feel whole in some way.most partnerships of this nature are made becuase by yourself you would feel insufficient , incomplete.
but thats not how life is -this a complete life process by itself.it does not need any assistance from outside. so,now that you come to such a situation its time to turn inward and see.you re anyway going through one divorce which could havebeen avoided ,but its happeing so,you at lest dont divorse yourself from yourself.when i say" yourself"nit the memory oart of you,that which gathers the memory,that which is fundamental to your making .you as existence ,you as being,dont remain divorced from that. its time that you find the completeness of what this life is ,its time to discover that this being is complete being ,it does not need any external assistance to be the way it is.to conduct our life in a society we may need .. we are interdependent,but the fundamental existence of this ,the balance of what this is,the space of what this is ,the possibility of what this is ,is complete process by itself.our interdepence is only according to our external requirements,but our inner existence is complete by its self .you're divorcing your spouse,which is bad enough;do not divorcing yourself from yourself.
